Hyperbole Hill: Mike Grella Will Be The Next Golden Boot Recipient

The Glen Cove native scored quite the dazzler over the weekend to give the New York Red Bulls the lead over home team Columbus Crew, giving the Red Bull’s its 1000th goal as well as the edge over Columbus at their own home field. To re-watch the goal as well as the other goals that are up for goal of the week: follow this MLS link.

Now, first let us settle what is considered the top five goals of the week, in order of the video. Jordan Allen put away the winning goal for RSL in the dying minutes of the game. Kinda sounds like a big deal. but if you realized that he was a late sub, you wouldn’t care so much. That paired with his youthful age of 19 makes him out maneuvering less impressive. I mean for god’s sake, you think the Toronto outfit was really gonna stop him? Yawn.

Next comes our future Golden Boot Winner, Mike Grella. After an awful, and I mean really awful give away by the Crew. Grella approaches the ball like a hybrid of Cristiano Ronaldo-Lionel Messi-Manuel Neuer approach to kick the ball in the form of what we call “a chip” to go over Steve Clark’s head and give the Red Bulls the winner.

It is pure class from the Strong Islander as he shows off by the Red Bulls picker him up in the first place – to combine with Wright-Philips to score a combined 60 goals this season (with Grella taking home 32 goals). This right here shows that if he played the full 90, Grella would probably fulfill this goal within 3/4 of the season. That’s right Marsch, its time to give this man some more playing time.

Next comes… uhm well okay this is weird… its a goal from…. Kaka. Ugh, I feel dirty just saying that name. Doesn’t that mean poop in multiple languages? Yuck! Why would you pick that nickname. The former Ballon D’or player should not receive any accolades for this goal and heres why. He’s a Balon D’or winner, and Montreal was the worst team in the league last season. You have to realize their coach also forgot to mention to these players to pretend this was a Concacaf Champions League match. No credit here.

Next comes Jack McInerney’s goal that went way too high up in my opinion. if he wants to know how to do a chip properly, he should talk to Mike Grella. The reason Donovan Ricketts did not bother with the ball was because he thought it flew out of Olympic Stadium. We’re sorry man, but we’re gonna have to say ‘hit the road Jack.”

Chris Pontius’s late goal would have been great were it not at the end of the match. Like Toronto, everyone is tired at this point, and the game should really end with a little bit of passing in the middle and no attempts of winning. Pontius and the rest of DC Divided broke this cardinal rule and went on to win their match up against LA Galaxy. That’s not nice DC. Moreover, to make matters worse, the LA Galaxy players are coming off a MLS Championship binge are still drunk with joy and other stuff:

bruce arena drinking

See, even their gaffer couldn’t care less about what went down. But DC had to go and spoil it all.

But back to the important matter, Mike Grella. It is beyond a shadow of a doubt now that the forward will be able to keep contributing to the Red Bulls and bring the team towards their first MLS Cup, with Jesse Marsch at the helm. Grella will soon become instrumental, whether Marsch wants to believe it or not in this title race.

Once the New York outfit beats upcoming DC United 5-0 with a hattrick from Grella, and then the two Californian sides with equivalent results, Grella will assume league leadership of goals scored. Also for reference, and for everyone to recap, @JeffreyKleiman and I had predicted this quite some time ago.

So there you have it. Keep an eye on this player, and enjoy his play, because even at the tender age of 28, European clubs will get interested in Grella once again as he tallies up goal after goal. I have no doubt in mind that a struggling side like Dortmund may use him to help restructure the team after a so far poor season in the Bundeslida.

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